I Have Everything I Need

What can you live without?

I was cleaning my house today and I remembered a conversation I had with my grandson not too long ago. He asked me, “Mema, why do you have so much?” I looked around the room we were sitting in and his question made a lot of sense, especially thinking about his own home which my daughter decorates using a sparse mentality. My house tells the tale of multiple collections. You can quickly see the things we not only like, but value.

I have always had a lot of stuff. I remember one spring when my dad picked me up from college. He loaded my boxes into the car while I went off to sing with the college choir at Bacheloreate. While I was singing Dad was driving and he ended up having a flat tire which resulted in him unpacking the trunk to get to the spare. Needless to say for a long time I heard about how much stuff I had and it was never a positive thing.

This was not always the case. There was a period of time when I had very little. I was issued a blanket, two sheets, and two towels. I had one uniform at a time. I was also issued a coffee cup, a stubby toothbrush, and a nineteen cent black short comb. I had to purchase soap, shampoo, and toothpaste from the commisary from money left for me by my husband. I could have three bras, three pairs of underwear, and three pairs of socks—they all had to be white.

I was in jail for sixty days. Not long by comparison to some sentences, but near an eternity for me. My life was run on the schedule of others. I slept when I was told. I ate what I was given. I had to ask permission to go through doors. I could see my husband twice a week for fifteen minutes each visit.

I learned I don’t need very much at all.

So each time when I read Psalm 23, I am reminded anew that I have everything that I need when I allow my life to be led by the Great Shepherd. Everything I need. I can ask for what I want and what I think I need, but if I don’t have it—then I must not need it.

This week I thought I killed my laptop (thankfully not) and I was told that the SD card in my phone containing two years worth of pictures of my inquisitive little grandson was kaput. I had to come once again face to face with the question: what do I really need? I don’t have a list. What I do have is renewed sense of peace that comes from the assurance that the one who knows me best and loves me most will supply my every need.

 

Asking Jesus to Show Up

Yesterday my reading in “Pray Big” was still regarding praying for others who are either struggling with faith or living life their own way. The author, Wll Davis, Jr., used the story of Jesus raising Lazarus to make his points about praying for others.

One of the points that really impacted me was praying that Jesus would meet people where they are—and that’s not typically in the church. Church, in fact, for most believers is the last place they want to be. Too much judgment. Too much perceived hypocracy. Too much that is unfamiliar and uncomfortable. And for most, too many painful memories. Why not instead pray that Jesus will ambush, interupt, come alongside them right where they are?

The thing that hit me freshly here was the very idea of praying Jesus would show up. I had often prayed that God would put someone in a person’s path who would direct them to God, but it never occurred to me to invite God directly into that person’s life. Seems pretty audacious, but isn’t that the kind of God we have? We, human beings, weren’t getting the message so well from others, not from prophets, priests, or kings, so God sent his son not only to teach about the way, but to walk it for us. His very name indicates his desire to enter into our messed up lives, Emmanuel—God with us.

 Beyond just praying Jesus onto the scene of a person’s life was the new way of how that should and could happen. Imagining Jesus coming alongside someone in an Emmaus sort of way had a nice appeal, probably more so than blindingly bursting onto the scene in a Damascus Road (see Luke 24 and Acts 9). Yet either could be quite effective given a person’s particular situation or personality.

Reading this and thinking through it has truly energised my desire to pray for others. I feel like I gained more than a tool. In a new way, I realize I have a really huge ally and that feels really good!

Love given

 

I’m a people watcher. So it was no problem for me that I had over an hour to sit and wait at my gate before taking off to Arizona.

If you’ve flown lately you know that as the airline counter person is calling groups to board, one of the first groups invited to board is military personnel in uniform. As that call was made, a young man walked toward the counter from behind where I was sitting. He checked in and took a few steps toward the long tunnel that led to the plane. Then he stopped, turned around and gave a come here wave. Immediately three people moved towards him: a woman, a man, and a boy. The woman appeared to be his mother, the man (I then assumed) was dad or step-dad, and the boy, his little brother.

He first reached out to the boy. Initially there was some of that guy-like arm bumping, but it was quickly replaced by some hugging and words spoken directly into the boy’s ear. It wasn’t a long transaction, but it was so touching that I felt myself getting choked up and my eyes filled with tears.

The two separated and the woman stepped over. Their embrace was the most touching thing I’ve seen since I can remember. She held him tightly and then prayed out loud for him. As with the boy, he spoke softly right into her ear. Then they just stood there hugging, rocking back and forth, back and forth, both of them crying—and me right along with them.

When they finally separated, he shook the man’s hand, turned, and walked down the gangway. As he disappeared the three left behind stood there briefly, holding each other in a kind of group hug, and then they turned and walked away as well.

I’m not sure where the young soldier was going, but it was away, and given the tears, I’m thinking it was into battle and harm’s way. I wondered how someone could do that. I was immediately grateful for his service and prayed a prayer of protection for him and peace for his family.

As I prayed, I was reminded that God did just that: for God so loved that he gave his son, that while we were yet sinners (and unknowing of our need) his son died for us all, for we have all sinned and are in need of one to save us. And I was thank-full all over again.

But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.  Romans 5:8

Feeling Held

 

So yesterday I flew to my mom’s in Arizona. My journey, however, began in a car. A friend drove me to the airport. We arrived surprisingly early and it didn’t take too much effort to pry my fingernails from the seatbelt that I had been gripping to keep me secure. I am a horrible passenger, and that is putting it mildly. Weaving through the heavy morning traffic had my heart doing all kinds of flip flops.

Flying has not been too different an experience. I am only an occasional traveler, so I have never acquired that calm demeaner that seems to waft from those who saunter through airports with ease and confidence. I’m constantly checking for my ticket, watching the arrival departure screens, getting to the gate ridiculously early, and praying. The whole process is one long continuous prayer vigile. I try to go with the flow and fake outwardly that I know what I’m doing, but I’m well aware that my nervous giggle gives me away every time. It causes me to truly understand and engage in Paul’s adominition to pray without ceasing.

The serious praying for me really begins as the plane begins to taxi down the runway and occurs again when I feel the jolt of the landing gear emerging as we prepare for landing. At these critical junctures in the flight I realize I need to be keenly prepared to meet my God, so I pray. These prayers are foxhole prayers at there finest.

The first leg of my journey was a quick jaunt from Columbus to Chicago O’Haire. Approaching Chicago something happened that I have never experienced before. I looked out my window and saw that we were about to swing out over the lake to head the plane toward the airport and all of a sudden I had this sensation of floating, of weightlessness, but also of being gently bouyed. It reminded me of a time when as a young child my mother was trying to teach me to float in a swimming pool. Initially she had her hands under me, holding me up. Slowly she would pull her hand away, but I could still feel it near. She was trying to teach me to trust that the water could hold me, but also that she was there catch me if I became afraid and started to go under.

In that moment in the plane I felt such peace. Gone was the frantic praying that normally would have begun as descended to the ground. I knew I was being given a gift and I just reveled in it silently, and thankfully.

And then we landed. And then we sat. Why wasn’t the plane moving? Didn’t the pilot know I had very little time to make it to my connecting flight? Who cares if the plane at the gate we’re assigned to hasn’t left yet? It’s a big airport, pick another one.

I felt myself starting to fret and stew. I’m so unaccustomed to traveling that I didn’t know what I would do if I missed my connection. Would I be able to get to Tucson? Would they have to honor my ticket or was I just out of luck? What was I going to do?

And then that little spiritual lightbulb went off in my head. I had been on the mountain and experienced a precious moment in the presence of my God just like the disciples had in the story of the Mount of Transfiguration (see Mark 9). They wanted to tary in the specialness of the moment, but had to return to real life, and as soon as they did things started to press on them and cause them to question, fret, and fuss. Just like me.

Sitting in my seat, waiting, I entered a quiet internal place and sought forgiveness for allowing the uncertainty of the moment to crowd in and make me forget that God’s hand was just as present on the ground as it was in the air. God isn’t just about the taking offs and landings, the big scary moments of life. No, he cares about it all, because he cares about me. And there, in that moment, I felt the peace that comes from releasing myself and my insane want of control over to the One who has called me and upholds me.

I have called you back from the ends of the earth so that you can serve me. For I have chosen you and will not throw you away. Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Be not dismayed, for I am you God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand. Isaiah 41:9-10, NLT

 

Continuing in Prayer

My theme or guiding principle for 2012 continues to develop.  I went to our public library and found a book while browsing the shelves entitled “Pray Big.”  It’s not a deep book, but it’s calling me deeper, challenging my thinking and my practice of prayer.

On Christmas Sunday I offered to help team teach our adult Sunday School class.  I’m going to use this material.  I’ll be sharing more specifics from the book later.  What I can tell you now is that it’s not the kind of book I can race through.  I’m reading it much more slowly than I normally read books and taking notes, and not just because I plan to teach from it.  I’m doing a lot of self-examination and a lot of praying…and weeping.  I’m quite excited for the growth.